


Hate and Tears Pass

by gentleau (iwanna_seeyou_undoit)



Series: USS Hermes [1]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mentions of Death, Misunderstandings, Slow Burn, but it's none of the main characters, but there's no monster, it's a star trek au, the general action tension that comes with monster of the week star trek eps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27589232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwanna_seeyou_undoit/pseuds/gentleau
Summary: "I don't mean to pry," Alex begins. "But what is the deal with you and Ocon?”Pierre spits in the sink, swipes the back of his hand over his mouth and wipes the toothpaste off on his trousers. “Is a long story.”Alex makes a show of preparing to floss.I’ve got all the time in the world.
Relationships: Alexander Albon/Lily Muni He, Daniel Ricciardo/???, Nicholas Latifi/George Russell, Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon
Series: USS Hermes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110743
Comments: 33
Kudos: 70





	Hate and Tears Pass

**Author's Note:**

> Explanatory notes: You don’t need to have watched Star Trek to understand this (I hope) but here is the information you might need to know going in…
> 
> Starship: like a massively oversized cruise ship, but in space.
> 
> There are three divisions on board a starship and they’re distinguished by the colours of their shirts….  
> Yellow shirts = Command Division.  
> Blue shirts = Science Division  
> Red shirts = Operations & Security Division (red shirts are renowned for being killed off or injured. Don’t worry no red shirts are harmed in this). 
> 
> Ensign: The most junior non-commissioned officer, below a Lieutenant, above a crewman.
> 
> Shore leave: Leave. A brief holiday off the ship.
> 
> Away Team: A group of people who leave the starship to go down to a planet, usually for research.
> 
> Phaser: Like a cross between a gun and a taser. Can be lethal or non-lethal.
> 
> If you have watched Star Trek, I did next to no research because making it up is what science fiction is babey..

######  **~ Best of the Science Div (Plus Lando) ~**

**[... GEORGE kicked PIERRE from group…]**

**George: Red alert everyone.**

**Alex: Oh my god it’s happening already??**

**Lando: Huh? What?** **  
** **Lando: guys what have i missed?**

**George: i’m serious. Battle stations.**

**Lando: ?????** **  
** **Lando: its not even my shift im meant to be asleep**

**Alex: 🔪 go to sleep.**

**George: DONT GO 2 SLEEP WE NEED ALL HANDS ON DECK**

**Lando: oohhhoohh** **  
** **[…LANDO is typing…]** **  
** **Lando: Esteban is arriving today???**

**Lance: you’re all exaggerating. It will be fiiine.**

..

> A-167. INTERNAL MEMO. USS HERMES.  
>  (TO: All Divisions)

Expected arrival at Space Dock XLI (41) at 0300 for routine supply stop. 

Beta and Delta crews granted 5 hours shore leave. Alpha and Gamma crews to remain abroad.

Per MEMO A-166 three new staff will be boarding. One science officer to join Alpha shift (Food Technology), one science officer to join Alpha shift (Medical), one operations ensign to join Gamma shift (Engineering). 

Please make them feel welcome. 

..

######  **~ Best of the Science Div (Plus Lando) ~**

**Lando: Pierre keeps asking me why he can’t get into the gc** **  
** **Lando: what am i meant to say??**

**George: tell him its a virus**

**Lando: he’s not that dumb**

**Alex: oof. Harsh man**

**Lando: ITS NOT WHAT I MEANT**

**George: … mate.** **  
** **George: ur literally a red shirt. He’ll believe you**

**Lando: jsut bc im in the operations div doesnt mean i know computers**

**Alex: except you do**

**Lando: :(** **  
** **Lando: what do i sau???**

**Lance: here’s an idea - stop gossiping behind his back.**

**[LANDO kicked LANCE from group]**

**[ALEX added LANCE to group]**

**Alex: I do feel bad**

**Lance: so stop.** **  
** **Lance: you’re making it into a Thing**

 **George: because it IS A THING!** **  
** **George: you’re the one who told us about their beef**

**Lance: it’s not beef**

**George: nice bit of steak**

**Alex: if it’s not beef its definitely veal**

**Lance: youre idiots**

..

> MINUTE FROM EXECUTIVE OFFICERS’ MEETING  
>  SUBJECT: Room Allotment

Daniel Ricciardo: Was it always this hard finding quarters for people?

Lewis Hamilton: Unfortunately, yes. 

Daniel: I don’t see why we can’t just put him here.

Sebastian Vettel: Next to the Botany lab? Can’t. His medical file says he’s allergic to almost everything you can think of.

Lewis: How about the empty room on the Engineering level? Or is that still…

Sebastian: It’s still got a ventilator problem. 

Lewis: There’s the room nearest Sickbay, I suppose.

Sebastian: I promised Stroll he could have it. He’s been sharing a wall with a chronic snorer for the last few missions. 

Daniel: Then… if we move these two around, great for us that Lieutenant Barrett is moving into couple’s quarters, put _him_ there and _him_ here… we should be able to make it work.

Lewis: Great! So that puts Lieutenant-Commander Grosjean in Barrett’s old room, Lieutenant Latifi on deck four, and Ensign Ocon in the room next to the Botany lab. Does that sound right?

Sebastian: Sounds great, boss. 

Lewis: Now, moving onto the staff dinner… 

.. 

######  **~ Best of the Science Div (Plus Lando) ~**

**George: oh shit.** **  
** **George: he’s hot. I’m in so much trouble 🥵**

**Lando: WHO george??**

**Alex: the new medical officer. George has been mooning after him since he arrived**

**George: im in love**

**Alex: it’s been two hours**

**Lando: just as well you’re in medbay bc you’re love sICK❤️**

**Pierre: happy for you mate** **  
** **Pierre: i won’t say anything because of respect for Lance but if he’s going to be on this ship i hope i will never see him**

**Alex: realll respectful, mate. Sure Lance appreciates**

**Lando: i just met him! I don’t know what pierre is going on about.** **  
** **Lando: he seems super chill** **  
** **Lando: oh! Hi pierre. You’re back.** **  
** **Lando: he told me to call him Esteban**

**Alex: that’s because you’re both the same rank**

**Pierre: at least when you kicked me off the chat i didn’t have to think about him**

..

######  **~ Best of the Science Div (Plus Lando) ~**

**Pierre: I KNOW I SAID I WOULD NOT TALK ABOUT HIM** **  
** **[…PIERRE is typing…]**

**George: oh no, Lance, look away**

**[…PIERRE is typing…]** **  
** **Pierre: What sort of fuck of fate made it that his room is right beside my lab. He is beside my lab. I saw him bringing his bags in this morning.** **  
** **Pierre: French fuck**

 **George: huh.** **  
** **George: i really thought that was going to be worse than it was**

**Pierre: i am not so disrespectful am i?**

**Alex: “French fuck”**

**Pierre: he deserves**

**Lance: not to be a buzz kill, but could yall maybe talk about Este somewhere i don’t see it? I just feel bad. He’s a good friend.**

**..**

Alex is the first one to break. His room connects to Pierre’s through a shared bathroom, so he just asks him over the sink while they’re both brushing their teeth before Gamma shift. 

“I don’t want to pry…”

Pierre meets his eyes in the mirror. “But you will anyway.”

“But I will anyway.” Alex grins. He’d been so excited when he and Pierre graduated from the same cohort and were immediately assigned to the same ship. They hadn’t really been friends during their Academy years, what with Pierre transferring in the last year and specialising in botany and Alex in zoology, but they’d known _of_ each other. 

Other than George, Pierre had been the only person Alex had known when he arrived at the _Hermes_. As luck would have it, the captain had assigned them rooms next to each other - floors away from their respective work spaces, but cosy and far enough away from the engine room that they weren’t kept awake at night. 

Sharing a bathroom would have brought them together even if they hadn’t known each other, and now there’s a comfortable, brotherly sort of ease between them.

“What is the deal with you and Ocon?”

Pierre spits in the sink, swipes the back of his hand over his mouth and wipes the toothpaste off on his trousers. “Is a long story.” 

Alex makes a show of preparing to floss. _I’ve got all the time in the world._

Pierre reads it in his face. “We were friends since children. I originally wanted to be a sports person or something like that. It was Ocon who made me interested in science like this. I was always the kid who liked science in school, my teachers all said I was good, but I didn’t think I could do anything interesting with it. 

“He wanted to be the captain of a starship, you know. Talked about it all the time. Wouldn’t shut up. I started listening, reading books and things about it. Eventually, I decided, yes, that sounds nice. We applied for the same Academy - in France. We got in. 

“And then I started doing well, he didn’t like that. I got an invitation to apply to be considered for the command track. Was a really good programme but I didn’t want to be a captain. I want to do science, the hands on work. Obviously I turned it down.” 

“Obviously…” Alex echoes, as if it is obvious. As if most people in their shoes wouldn’t kill to be considered for command track. 

Pierre pauses to gargle a neatly measured cap of mouthwash. Alex squints at his own teeth in the mirror. Presentable. 

“Ocon found out about my offer, and he stopped talking to me all of a sudden. All of our years of friendship, poof, just gone. I texted him and he just ignored me, so I thought well! If you don’t respect me, I’ve lost my respect for you. Few weeks later, I saw a scholarship for the Academy in the UK so I transferred.” 

Alex, Lando, and George have been speculating about it for the past year and a half. 

Their favoured explanation was that Esteban had stolen Pierre’s girlfriend and then crashed his car or something. Lando had his own side theory that Esteban had cheated on a test and set Pierre up to take the blame. 

Alex would have preferred either of those explanations to this: that Esteban had ghosted Pierre after he’d started doing better than him. 

It makes him worry for Lance. He’s basically Sebastian Vettel’s right hand man in Med Bay - a really competent surgeon rising through the ranks faster than anyone had expected from him. He’s a prodigy, truthfully. 

Lance has always been ready to defend Esteban and has always seemed to really like the man. Alex was a different person in the Academy than he is today, they all were. But… if Esteban could drop his childhood friend for being offered a chance to test for command track, then what was stopping him from doing it to Lance? 

Alex wants to think the best of people, he really does, but he doesn’t know Ocon. His loyalties lie with Pierre, and so far what he’s hearing is that Esteban Ocon _does_ indeed deserve to be called a ‘French fuck’. 

..

George hears about it from Alex, of course. 

Alex had cornered him by the food replicator at dinner time and repeated Pierre’s story back to him word for word. 

“Will you keep an eye on Lance?” he’d asked. 

_Of course_ George will keep an eye on Lance. 

Not only because he’s a good mate and doesn’t deserve to get his heart broken by Ocon. George hasn’t actually met him yet, and he’d only heard Pierre’s story second-hand. He doesn’t feel like he’s got the right to call him a French fuck. Not yet, anyway. 

So he’ll keep an eye on Lance because he cares about him. 

But also because the new Lieutenant, Latifi, has been assigned to shadow Lance for his first week. 

George doesn’t actually know his first name. He knows he’s Canadian, that he speaks like he’s always holding back a laugh, and that his shoulders look lovely in Medical blues. He’s a Lieutenant, which means he’s hard-working. He’s a nurse which means he’s not out for glory. 

(Not that surgeons are automatically doing it for the wrong reasons it’s just… George had trained under a few surgeons at the Academy who definitely had a God complex.)

Conveniently, Latifi knows Ocon. They’d boarded the _Hermes_ together, along with Lieutenant-Commander Grosjean, and all three of them had been chatting and laughing like old pals. 

George’s mission: 

  * Befriend Latifi
  * Work out his first name
  * See what he knows about Ocon
  * Determine whether Ocon is, in fact, a French fuck
  * Report back to Alex



Stage two of the mission goes off without a hitch. 

George accidentally clicks on the wrong screen when he’s signing into Med Bay for his shift and reads that a _Lt. Latifi, Nicholas_ is working as the second nurse. 

As it turns out, he needn’t have bothered with the subterfuge because he then walks into the Sick bay and is greeted by a wide smile and a broad palm extended towards him. 

“Morning! I’m Nicky. Lance says you’re the other Gamma shift nurse?” 

_Nicky_ is an even better name than Nicholas. Nicholas was far too saintly. A bit too reserved, proper, stately. Nicky, on the other hand, is a name George can have _fun_ with. Someone fun, easy-going, perhaps a little corruptible. 

The patron saint of sailors, though, was certainly a handy thing to have aboard a starship. 

Given how friendly Nicky is, Stage one of the mission gets off to a great start, too. George has already started asking about how long Nicky had worked on Star Base XLI and he reckons by the end of the shift he’ll have at least heard Ocon’s name mentioned. 

He does not have to wait long. 

“The two guys I came on with - Romain and Esteban? Honestly, they’re some of the nicest people I’ve met in my life. They’re both _really_ French, tried to give me lessons and everything. I was terrible. Of course.”

It’s the first work day after a new crew intake. They’re 40 minutes travel from Star Base XLI at Warp 3. There’s very little for the Medical staff to be doing. George stacks and restacks rolls of athletic tape and listens attentively. 

Listening attentively means watching Nicky’s mouth while he speaks. 

“Were they good teachers?”

“They were great! Especially Esteban. I think Romain felt a bit sorry for me when I kept messing up so he’d just let my mistakes go. Esteban would correct me though. He was so patient.”

So far, Esteban sounds nothing like the one from Alex’s story from Pierre. He’s never really known Pierre to be dramatic about things. Not about things like this, anyway. 

About sport? Absolutely. His competitive streak was so long and so blindingly obvious that he even managed to make Botany, the slowest of all the Sciences, just waiting for plants to grow, into a competition. 

But in George’s experience, Pierre has always been very level-headed about everything else. 

Still, there’s always room for error in George’s interpretations of people’s personalities. For example, he’d thought it would take at least a few days before he could convince Nicky into shenanigans. 

Instead, by the end of the first shift, they’ve each printed off a dozen labels with the name of a terrible food combination on each, and hidden them around the Med Bay. Whoever finds one has to order it for dinner.

Maybe Pierre had just been saving his drama for Ocon. 

..

Lando is the only one of them who actually _works_ with Ocon. He’s looking forward to being the one who can speak authoritatively on the subject. 

It’s not that the others don’t listen to him, it’s just that their group chat is literally called ‘Best of the Science Div (Plus Lando)’. 

Lando is the token Red Shirt among a gaggle of Blue Shirts and it really shows when they’re all geeking out over something that Commander Vettel had said or done or was going to say or do, and he’s left reading all their messages, wondering whether he can convince Commander Ricciardo to invest in the newest interpretation software. 

He sits in a weird sort of no-man’s land between the Science division and the Ops division. 

He’s _not_ a science kid, never had been. But he’s also not an engineer, or a mechanic, or anywhere near qualified to join a security team. Communications falls weirdly in the middle of the divisions. 

If he’d taken Command track courses at the Academy, he could have been included in the Command division. But he hadn’t. 

If he’d felt strongly enough about it, he could have pleaded his case and been classified part of the Sciences division. But he hadn’t.

He likes being a Red Shirt. There’s a level of camaraderie between them all that the other divisions don’t seem to have.

And now, it means he gets to work with Esteban Ocon. And report back to the group chat. 

..

######  **~ Best of the Science Div (Plus Lando) ~**

**Lance: Has there been a mistake??? Are we actually having soufflé for dessert?**

**Pierre: No mistake. Romain changed the menu**

**[ALEX reacted 💖 to PIERRE’s message]**

**Lando: im sure that’s great but i have super impt news** **  
** **Lando: its about esteban** **  
** **Lando: (sorry pierre)** **  
** **Lando: so i worked with him today because the main computer bank broke down (long story, tell u later, you may have noticed all your personal computers are working again u are welcome) and why didn’t you tell us he was funny Pierre????** **  
** **Lando: he’d get along with alex i think. Very sarcastic. VERY tall oh my god is the man a beanstalk? Did you meet him when he was just magic beans pierre? Are you jack?**

**George: yeah, pierre. Did you climb that beanstalk 😏**

**Lance: I TOLD YOU HE WAS FUNNY**

**Lando: but you think everyone is funny..**

**Alex: yeah you laugh at George**

**Lance: it’s because of his face**

**George: I’m choosing to ignore that.** **  
** **George: nicky said he’s really patient** **  
** **George: and french**

**Pierre: of course he is french**

**Lando: who tf is nicky?**

**Lance: the new nurse George keeps making eyes at**

**Pierre: I will plan your wedding George**

**Alex: hERE COMES THE BRIDE**

**George: I hate you all** **  
** **[…GEORGE is typing…]** **  
** **George: I want orchids in my bouquet please pierre**

..

As much as he tries to stay out of whatever happened between Esteban and Pierre, Lance can’t avoid it entirely. 

He’d transferred to the Academy in France for his final two years of Med school and met Esteban while he was still friends with Pierre. Esteban had been Lance’s roommate and there wasn’t a day that went by that Pierre wasn’t in or near or video-calling into their shared dorm.

Lance had been close to Pierre. Since they were both studying to enter the Science division, they often ran into each other on campus. Lance was usually neck deep in a stack of textbooks, holed up in a corner of the library with a mug of coffee and a muffin, and Pierre would stop by to deliver a sweet-smelling cactus meant to enhance concentration. 

When it was the height of growing season, Lance would slip little packets of band-aids into Pierre’s backpack for when he inevitably cut his hands taking plant clippings. 

They were both the closest to Esteban, though. So when whatever happened between the two of them happened, it impacted Lance, as well. 

As his roommate, his loyalty ultimately lay with Esteban. He didn’t ignore Pierre when he saw him on campus, they still took coffee together when their lunch breaks coincided, and they still text each other stupid memes, but Lance had to empathise with Esteban’s side of the story. 

That the two of them had been friends since childhood, had applied to go to the same Academy in France. Pierre declared a Science specialty and Esteban had chosen operations. 

Ultimately, they had both been leaning towards the Command track. In their aptitude tests, Pierre had scored ahead of Esteban in the leadership and team-building modules, but Esteban was better at problem-solving and making decisions on the spot. They’d balanced each other out. 

When Pierre had been accepted to a Command track course, something he’d applied for without telling Esteban, he’d been proud. He wasn’t petty - not jealous of the fact that his own application had been rejected - and he was trying not to be hurt that he’d had to find out about Pierre’s acceptance through _Charles_ of all people. 

Charles, who’d been beside himself, so proud that one of _their friends_ was good enough to go to Command training. 

Charles, who kept pestering Pierre about when he was starting, whether he would still be in any of his classes, making him promise to still talk to them when he was off wearing a gold uniform. 

Lance had been there for all of it and he’d watched Esteban be happy for his friend. 

And then Pierre had dropped the bombshell. He’d announced it so casually, as if it cost him nothing to say it. He was turning the offer down. He wanted to stay in the Science division. 

Not only had he been offered the dream Esteban had been denied, but he’d turned it down, walked away from it like it meant nothing. As if Esteban hadn’t poured his blood, sweat, and tears, not to mention most of his parents’ savings into a goal that had never materialised. 

Lance understood where Esteban’s annoyance had come from, but he didn’t think it was worth ending a friendship over. Ultimately, it had been Pierre’s decision to make. 

Esteban had been upset for a few days, stopped seeking Pierre’s company, and Lance had been planning a way to get the two of them to sit down and discuss it like adults when Pierre had announced to him, over a coffee and a scone, like it was nothing but an ordinary Tuesday afternoon, that he was transferring to the Academy in the United Kingdom. 

He’d just shrugged when Lance had asked him what he’d told Esteban. 

“He will find out, eventually.” 

Lance and Pierre kept in touch while Pierre was in the UK, since it was immature to hold a grudge against someone on behalf of a friend you don’t entirely believe isn’t overreacting. When they both find out they’ve been assigned to the same starship, they send each other excited congratulations texts.

Esteban is given a one mission assignment aboard a supply vessel. Lance feels bad about his own prestigious assignment, but that’s how life goes. Esteban seems content where he is - he’s got an experimental warp core to tinker with and a crew composed almost entirely of Vulcans who Esteban notoriously gets along well with. Lance doesn’t worry too much. 

He and Pierre fall back into their old rhythm very naturally when they board the _Hermes_ , meeting Alex and George within the first week of the mission. Lando joins their cohort in week two. 

The point of this all is that there is no animosity of any sort between Lance and Pierre. It’s why Lance feels more than happy to tease Esteban about him, especially now that so much time has passed. Esteban is an Ensign aboard a Constitution class starship. He’s looking down the barrel of a promotion in the near future, and says, on an almost weekly basis, how glad he is that he hadn’t gone down the command route. 

“How long have you been standing there?” 

Esteban startles away from the vent he has his face pressed to. When he realises it’s just Lance, he tries to play his flinch off as if he’d been swatting a fly. As if there are any flies on a starship in the middle of deep space. 

“Hardly two minutes.” Esteban maintains eye contact with Lance and manfully pretends not to know that Lance knows that it’s a lie. 

“Any movement from behind the doors?” The vent Esteban had been peering into is directly opposite the doors to the Botany lab. Lance is _sure_ that that’s just a coincidence. 

Esteban pretends not to understand. “The control panel looks fine. I don’t know who was complaining about a cold draught, but I can’t find any reason for it.” 

He’s sticking to his lie. Lance decides to cut him some slack for the time being. “If you’re done there, then, could you give me a hand with these?” He nods at the trolley of heart monitors he’d been pushing down the corridor before he’d caught Esteban lurking. “They’re heavier than you’d think.”

Esteban sidles up beside Lance to grip the handle of the trolley. Lance pretends not to notice the long backward glance Esteban gives the botany lab before they push the trolley toward the nearest turbolift. 

..

“So,” Lance begins, over dinner. “The botany lab…” He has given Esteban enough of an armistice.

Esteban busies himself cutting his steak.

“... it doesn’t have something to do with Pier-”

“Shut up.”

Lance cackles. “You’re so _see through,_ Ocon! Do you forget I lived with you for two years? You’ve been an idiot ever since you transferred onto the ship. He’s on Gamma shift at the same time as you are, half the time! You both need to get over whatever happened at the Academy. Just talk to him when you’re both off-duty instead of stalking him at his place of work.” 

“We’re on a starship, mate,” George slides into the empty seat next to Esteban. “Everywhere is our place of work.” He steals a chip from Esteban. “Are we talking about his massive crush on Gasly?”

Esteban swats at George’s hand and steals his chip back out of George’s mouth. “Are we talking about _your_ massive crush on Latifi?”

“Shhh!” George hisses, looking over his shoulder. Nicholas is obliviously pecking away at a salad on the other side of the mess hall. “You didn’t deny it.” 

Lance watches Esteban follow George’s gaze, watches it stall over Pierre’s back where he’s mid-conversation with Nicholas and Alex. 

It’s only been three weeks since Esteban arrived on the _Hermes._ Lance prays that this old history with Pierre blows over quickly because he doesn’t know how if he can take much more of Esteban’s sneaking around outside the botany lab, obsessively checking the Gamma shift roster so that Esteban can ‘avoid’ but actually pass by Pierre, and continuously watching him during meal times.

..

> L-12. PLANETARY MISSION. USS HERMES.  
>  (TO: Away Team/s)

In addition to the formally scheduled planet contacts (see pages 376-392 of Schedule F1-B67), we expect that, as part of Hermes’ primary function as a research vessel, many additional planet-side missions will take place. 

The commanding officers (Captain Hamilton, Lewis; Commander Riccardo, Daniel; Commander Vettel, Sebastian) do not anticipate any First Contact missions. We are aware conditions are changeable, therefore remind all personnel that in accordance with the Prime Directive (General Order 1) all interference with alien civilizations is _strictly prohibited_.

At minimum, Away Teams will consist of one (1) officer above Ensign (from any division), at least two (2) personnel from the Science division, and two (2) Security personnel. Any additional personnel will be included at the discretion of the Captain or First Officer, and the officer in charge. 

All Away Teams will be given at least twenty-four (24) hours’ notice before arrival at the planet (unless in exceptional circumstances).

..

> AWAY TEAM ROSTER. USS HERMES.  
>  Planet: Aratuhiin.

Officer in charge: Lieutenant-Commander Perez, Sergio  
Science personnel: Lieutenant Ngata, Simonne; Ensign Albon, Alex  
Command personnel: Ensign Rghyt, T’Larr  
Operations personnel: Lieutenant Leveille, Charlie; Ensign Norris, Lando; Ensign Ahn, Julia

..

Lando will not sit still in the shuttle to the surface of Aratuhiin. 

Alex has told him several times that he has to calm down or he’ll upset the balance of the shuttle and they’ll fudge their landing. It’s not true. Alex is just sick of Lando’s elbow digging into his ribs. 

“I don’t know why they sent me,” Lando mutters when the landscape below them finally comes close enough to look like more than just blobs of colour. “I have no security training.”

“You’re not _here_ for security, mate.”

“What _am_ I here for?” 

“The planet makes it hard for our computers to work properly,” Charlie has turned around in her seat to face them. “I’m here for security. You’re here for trouble-shooting.” 

Lando’s ears fill with blood, he squeaks, looks down at his hands, and _finally_ sits still. He once hit on Charlie’s fiance, only a few days after boarding the _Hermes_ and he’s been convinced that Charlie is out for blood ever since. 

She’s not, but she can’t say she doesn’t enjoy seeing Lando get flustered whenever she speaks to him, so she hasn’t corrected him. 

Once they land, and Sergio briefs them all of what’s expected, Alex heads off with Charlie in the direction of a lake filled with a breed of mollusc that the water sciences department think has some sort of rejuvenating effect on the plants they live on. 

Alex is too caught up with the molluscs to pay any attention to what Lando is doing. 

..

What Lando was doing, it turns out, was a whole lot of nothing. 

Once they return to the ship, Alex has to disappear into his lab, and when he emerges for dinner, Lando is deep in conversation with George. 

“I really think, if we can get them both to fill this sort of survey thing out, we can work out why they hate each other, like… mathematically.” 

From Alex’s vantage point behind Lando, he can see that George looks incredibly torn between eating more of his mashed potatoes or taking notes. “Wouldn’t they refuse, though? If we gave them a survey?”

“Not a survey-survey,” Lando says, like it’s obvious. “I thought about this on Aratuhiin. No one needed me to do anything so I drew up this program kinda thing that I can hook into their personal computers so that when they do anything - get their meals, brush their teeth… it will log how they do it. And then we can compare their patterns and see if they’re just, like, diametrically opposed individuals.”

For a man who has taken a Hippocratic Oath and is meant to value confidentiality, George is looking far too invested in Lando’s plan. Alex reckons it’s a good time to intervene. 

“What are you planning on doing once you find that out?” It’s gratifying to watch George jump at his voice and paste an incredibly guilty expression on his face. “I can’t believe you’re going along with this, George.” 

“I wasn’t going alo-”

“He was.” Lando pipes up, as if he’s totally innocent of wrong-doing.

“We haven’t even _seen_ them together. Just because they’re not mates any more doesn’t mean they hate each other.”

Both Lando and George fix Alex with equally unimpressed expressions. 

“Pierre literally called him a ‘French fuck’. When do you ever hear Pierre speak badly of anyone? Nicky-”

“ _OOh Nicky, I love you, Nicky,_ ” Alex simpers. 

“- _Nicky says_ that Esteban is a sweet guy and I believe him. If he’s managed to piss Pierre off, they must really rub each other the wrong way.”

Having heard the story directly from Pierre, Alex is inclined to disbelieve Latifi. But George is kind of right. He’s curious as to how, exactly, the two of them would interact. 

Call it cabin fever. They’re going to be on this ship, with the same people, for an interminable amount of time. They have to find their fun _somehow_. 

Even so… 

“I still think we’d be better off seeing them interact.”

Lando cheers. “So you agree!”

“Of _course_ I agree. I care about Pierre. I want to see what we’re dealing with.” 

“How are you going to get them to interact?” George asks around a mouthful of potato. 

“Well…” Alex grins at them both. “You know how Lando is kind of mates with Commander Riccardo…”

..

Daniel used to tutor some classes at the Academy when he was between missions. He loved it. It gave him a chance to use his brain in a different way, to interact with new and exciting people, get a fresh perspective. And being a tutor let him use a different side of his personality than being a First Officer. 

He didn’t _hide_ his personality aboard the _Hermes_. Everyone knew he was approachable, that he liked to lighten the mood with a joke here and a gentle tussle with a Lieutenant there. 

But he had to be responsible. He couldn’t let loose as much as he would have liked. Technically it wasn’t against the rules for him to make friends with personnel below his rank, but it felt weird. Made him feel a bit skeevy. 

Not that being a tutor was any better. He was responsible for shaping young minds, not just asking an Ensign to put engines in reverse. 

Daniel was never Lando’s tutor. He was his colleague. 

Lando was a freaking genius, so even though he’d not yet graduated, he was also tutoring classes. 

It was kind of awkward to begin with. Lando had already been given his assignment to the _Hermes_ , he already knew Daniel was going to be his commanding officer. But after a week or two they worked their way to casual friendship. 

And then, once the semester was over, once Lando graduated and received his Starfleet badge and his official uniform and his summons to the _Hermes_ , they kind of just… stayed friends. Daniel joins Lando in his quarters sometimes to play Fifa. It’s not unheard of for them to eat at the same table. 

Apparently, Alex and George and Lance all joke that it’s _weird_ , and that if Lando wanted a sugar daddy he should totally look at some of the Vulcans on the crew, because they were smart and quiet and also (so rumour had it) _mega_ rich because of the currency conversion. 

Daniel reckons it’s funny and once he started pointing out Vulcans he knows are single and approachable, Lando’s mates warmed up to him.

It’s why he already knows all about their gossip web about Pierre and Esteban. 

After that meeting with Lewis and Seb, sorting out rooming arrangements, Daniel is curious himself. They all are. Lewis is just too worried about abusing his power as a Captain to do any digging, and Seb would rather witness a sick-bed confession. 

So when Lando asks him if there are going to be any missions requiring a botanist and an engineer, Daniel shrugs, gives him a non-committal answer, and makes a mental note to tell Lewis immediately. 

Together, they’ll be able to come up with the _perfect_ Away Team. 

.. 

######  ****~ Best of the Science Div (Plus Lando) ~** **

**[GEORGE kicked PIERRE from group]**

**George: so Alex and me just saw the weirdest thing…**

**Lando: im with pierre right now. He wants bac k in** **  
** **Lando: START A NEW CHAT IF YOU WANT TO GOSSIP ABOUT ME** **  
** **Lando: that was pierre**

**[ALEX added PIERRE to group]**

..

######  **~ Operation Nemesis ~**

**Lance: wtf is this name?**

**Alex: it’s the gc without pierre** **  
** **Alex: to talk about him and esteban**

**Lance: why am i here?**

**George: do u not want to b?**

**Lance: better the devil i know…**

**George: thats what i thought** **  
** **George: SO! We saw the weirdest thing…** **  
** **George: oop. Nicky is here. We’re deep-cleaning the medbay. Alex u go.**

**[…ALEX is typing…]**

**Alex: actually it’s too difficult. Can’t we all just come round to yours lando? Tonight**

**Lando: why not yours?**

**Alex: I share a wall with Pierre**

**Lando: fine. After dinner** **  
** **Lando: bring snacks**

..

Once George arrives, flushed and rumpled and _insisting_ it’s from cleaning medbay and that they don’t understand how difficult it is to clean various types of goop off the floor, ceiling, and walls, especially when said goop is the result of an Away Mission on a planet that is notoriously acidic, the two of them tell their story. 

It goes like this. 

Someone in Alex’s lab got their finger stuck in a Celinatrian bridle, something that the Celinatrian wouldn’t even feel but which would (and did) sever a human finger. 

George had arrived to heal the finger which turned out to be an easier job than expected - he sealed the wound, placed the severed finger in a plastic bag, and he and Alex walked the crewman and their finger to Medbay to reattach it. 

It was a one-person job, the escort, but Alex had witnessed the accident and therefore had to make an appearance in Medbay to assure Sebastian and Lance that it _was_ an accident. 

On their way back from Medbay, they passed by the botany labs. 

More accurately, they _should_ have passed the botany labs but they backtracked and took the long way. 

Even _more_ accurately, they hid themselves around a corner and watched an exchange outside the botany labs before they backtracked and took the long way. 

“Esteban was pushing a trolley with boxes of spanners or something, and he’d stopped to do up his shoelace it looked like, and then the botany lab opened.” George gestures to Alex to continue on with the story.

“Pierre was carrying this _giant_ potted fern, like we could barely see his ankles and the only reason we knew it was him because, well, who else carries potted ferns around the ship like they’re children? 

“I don’t think he could see at all because he bumped right into Esteban. He put the plant down when he realised he’d hit someone and then it looked like he wanted to jump _into_ the plant when he realised who it was. 

“And has anyone noticed how much _taller_ than Pierre Esteban is? He’s taller than me, even! Anyway, Esteban sort of looked up at him like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t and he stood up _super_ quick and then stepped forward a little bit, it looked like so he could intimidate Pierre or something. I don’t know.”

George is flapping his hand at Alex to stop talking, and give him a turn. 

“From my more impartial perspective-”

“ _Impartial?_ ” Lando scoffs. “You just think whatever Nicky does!”

“From my more _impartial perspective_ , it looked like he tripped because he then immediately backed away. They talked for… honestly, they talked for ages. I couldn’t hear them but it looked like it was about the plant. And then about the spanners… And then Pierre got this look on his face, like he’d remembered he was supposed to be pissed off. And he turned around and walked back into the lab. He didn’t even take the plant with him.”

That was a big deal - Pierre leaving a plant unsupervised in the corridor. _Especially_ leaving a plant in front of a man he professed he wasn’t able to stand. 

“What do you think it means?” Lando muses. 

“I’ll tell you one thing.” It’s safe to say _none_ of them had expected Lance to want to take part in the conversation. They were all surprised he’d even showed up at Lando’s quarters in the first place. “It means Esteban is still lurking outside the botany lab.” 

“George,” Alex claps a hand over his mouth. “If you say one single thing about him having a crush, I will tell everyone that you’ve got your computer system set up to let you know when Nicholas is on your deck.” 

..

######  **~ Operation Nemesis ~**

**[LANDO added DANIEL to group]**

**George: is that allowed?**

**Lance: if it wasn’t i wouldn’t be able to talk to you**

**George: alright mr i’m a lieutenant and you’re not. Im just asking**

**Daniel: it is allowed… if youre uncomfortable with it i can leave though**

**George: don’t be stupid! Just don’t want the plan foiled before we can even get them together**

**Lance: YOU CANNOT FORCE PEOPLE TO BE TOGETHER**

**George: that is not what i meant** **  
** **George: i mean i want to see them in the same public space together** **  
** **George: Daniel what do you have for us mate**

**Lance: mr ‘is that allowed’ calling his commanding officer mate. lol**

**Daniel: i talked to lewis and we have an away mission coming up in a couple of days….**

**Lando: YOU TOLD LEWIS???** **  
** **Lando: YOU TOLD THE CPATAIN??? WTFF**

**Daniel: he’s chill with it. Would love you to take photos if anything happens**

**Lando: what do you mean ‘you’**

**George: yea don’t send Lando he’ll lose his mind**

**Daniel: it’s gonna be Lance, Alex, Pierre, Esteban, and then some others to make up the numbers** **  
** **Daniel: your officer in charge will be yours truly**

 **George: why not me?** **  
** **George: and where is alex?**

 **Lando: it’s obvious. Alex is pierre’s mate, and lance is Esteban’s. It’s so they feel comfortable, right?** **  
** **Lando: and Alex is on the phone with Lily**

**Lance: I forgot it’s date night**

**Daniel: SHIT.** **  
** **Daniel: DATE NIGHT**

..

######  **~ Best of the Science Div (Plus Lando) ~**

**Lance: so who do we reckon daniel is dating?**

**George: you’re okay with gossip now all of a sudden?**

**Lance: it’s not about my best mate so yea**

**George: idk… he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to date someone lower ranking than him…**

**Lance: and it was Beta shift so it must be someone who’s also off-duty then**

**[…LANDO is typing…]**

**Lando: so I did some digging. There are only three other people who are commanders who have beta shift off who aren’t already in relationships** **  
** **Lando: Alexandrina Roskomite, the Andorian. Probably not her she’s allergic to Daniel’s cologne** **  
** **Lando: Daniil Kvyat, but he just went through the breakup** **  
** **Lando: and Nico Hulkenberg.**

**Lance: …**

**George: HOT**

**Lance: have you considered Sebastian?**

**George: MAte. you know he has a family**

**Lance: allegedly**

**George: he has their pictures in his office** **  
** **George: we met his wife like, four months ago**

**Lando: we know youre in love with hulk but i think we have to seriously consider it as a possibility**

**Lance: i hate you all** **  
** **Lance: can we go back to talking about pierresteban?**

**[…GEORGE is typing…]**

**[…LANDO is typing…]**

**Lando: ahHAHAHAHAhah YOU’RE INVESTED AFTER ALL**

**George: i’ve screenshot it to send to Alex** **  
** **George: mr high and mighty i’m above all your schemes you’re all so immature i hate fun** **  
** **George: LOOK WHO’S HAVING FUN AFTER ALL**

**Lance: if i tell you Esteban likes turtlenecks will you leave me alone?**

..

They do, in fact, leave Lance alone because they’re too busy running to Alex’s room to tell him to make all of Pierre’s uniform shirts except his turtlenecks disappear. 

Alex, as the only member of Operation Nemesis who doesn’t think that Esteban and Pierre are destined to be together and is still actively trying to dislike Esteban (despite having had several very long conversations with him about how altering the air quality in the xenozoology labs would improve their results, and several more about a TV soap they both watch obsessively), is thoroughly unimpressed with their interruption. 

“I’m on a date!” He angles the screen of his computer away from the doorway. 

Lando claps his hands together, devilishly delighted. “You’re having phone sex?!” 

“No! I… What do you want?”

“We need you to get rid of Pierre’s clothes.”

Twin ‘what’s come from Alex and his computer. 

“Hi Lily!” George calls out, inviting himself further into the room and hooking his chin over Alex’s shoulder. “How’s planet Earth treating you?”

“What do you want?” Alex asks again, while George and Lily throw medical jargon at each other. 

“We’re serious. We need you to get rid of all of Pierre’s clothes that aren’t turtlenecks. It’s for the Plan. Lance is in on it.” 

The mention of Lance, ostensibly on the exact opposite side of the agenda as Alex is, probably shouldn’t make Alex agree. Lance’s role in Operation Nemesis is to look out for Esteban. Alex’s role is to look out for Pierre. George and Lando are team no-man’s land. 

But Lance is also a voice of reason and Alex knows he wouldn’t suggest anything that would land either of them - Esteban or Pierre - in hot water. 

He nods. “Yeah, okay. Sounds good. Have you heard anything from Daniel?”

George pulls back from his shoulder and pats Alex on the head. “Yep! You’re going on an Away Mission my friend!” 

Lily, who has been watching the whole thing unfold with a bemused smile on her face, laughs. “You got your commanding officer to make a roster specifically so you could match-make?”

“It’s not match-making!” Alex.

“Sure did!” George.

“We got the captain involved, too!” Lando. 

“We got the _captain_ involved?” Alex, again. 

“We’ll leave you lovebirds to it,” George announces, recognising that if they don’t leave now Alex is going to break into Responsible Mode.

..

AUDIO RECORDING: Turbolift 3.

Pierre Gasly: “... it’s not that I hate him-” 

Meriana Barrett: “You don’t _like_ him though.”

[Silence]

Meriana: “You did used to be friends though, right?”

[Muffled shuffling. Silence]

Pierre: “He was my best friend.” 

Meriana: “Jeez. Would you still talk to him?”

[Long sigh]

Pierre: “He wouldn’t listen even if I did.”

Meriana: “Really?”

Pierre: “He gave back the plant I gave him.”

Meriana: “Ohh. So, now…?”

Pierre: “Now it is what it is.”

..

> AUDIO RECORDING: Engineering Meeting Room 1.

Esteban Ocon: “I still like him enough.”

Silvano Diaz: “Enough to take your dinners in a separate mess hall.”

Esteban: “They don’t have the eggs I like there.”

[Silence]

Esteban: “It is hard to see him.”

Silvano: “He’s so pretty though!”

Esteban: “Is he?”

Silvano: “Ahhh.”

[Silence]

Silvano: “So it’s like that, is it?”

Esteban: “Like what? It’s like nothing! I don’t know. I don’t think about how he looks.”

Silvano: “You notice what mess hall he eats in.”

Esteban: “I notice you never iron your trousers. I notice a lot.”

Silvano: “I suppose you’ve also _noticed_ him hanging out with Albon a lot, too.” 

[Silence. Chair legs squeaking across the floor.]

Esteban: “It is what it is.”

.. 

Because they share a bathroom, Alex and Pierre don’t visit each other’s quarters very often. It gives them the illusion of privacy, treating the doors on each side of the shower as Private Property. 

Not going into each other’s rooms does not mean that Alex doesn’t feel perfectly comfortable to sit himself on the lowered lid of their toilet with a book and wait until Pierre enters the bathroom. 

“Esteban has been looking at me strangely.”

Pierre freezes. He’s wearing his pyjama shirt - a black long-sleeved thing that’s been washed so many times it looks more grey than anything. Alex is pretty certain it was a nightgown in a previous life. 

“He’s not violent.”

“Every time I see hi- What?” Alex doubles back. “‘Not violent’? Why would I think he was violent?”

“You said he was looking at you funny.” 

“Yeah like ‘I’m suspicious of you, did you put cayenne pepper in my beanie’ funny. Not ‘I’m gonna throw you out an airlock’ funny.” 

Alex can see Pierre physically hold back his laughter. “You put cayenne pepper in his beanie?”

“I didn’t! Lance… Lance might have. I think.”

Pierre really does giggle, this time. “Wish I had been there to see it…” He trails off glumly, seeming to realise what he’s said. What he’s almost admitted to. That he might, god forbid, be upset about the breakup he and Esteban had had. 

Alex had referred to it as that, once, and Pierre had snapped at him. 

_Pierre_ had _snapped_ at him. _‘It wasn’t a break up! There was nothing to break up! We were only friends and now we are not friends. The end.’_

Alex gets up from the toilet. “Mate,” he rests a hand on Pierre’s shoulder which suddenly, through the ordinary magic of a pyjama shirt and the bright white light of the bathroom, seems much more vulnerable than it ever has before. “It’s okay to be upset. Me and George had this massive fight once-”

“This is nothing like you and George.” 

“No,” Alex lets his hand fall back. He opens the door to his own room. “I guess it’s not.”

..

> MINUTE FROM MEDICAL OFFICERS’ BRIEFING  
>  SUBJECT: Away Team Vaccinations

Sebastian Vettel: Lance, I think you are all up to date with your vaccines, correct?

Lance Stroll: That sounds right. I definitely remember getting boosters that time I had the uh… That time. 

George Russell: We all know what you’re talking about Lance, share with the group.

Lance: Didn’t you have that rash for a while after visiting-

Sebastian: Okay! Patient confidentiality applies between medical staff, too!

Nicholas Latifi: To get back on track… Do we have all the vaccines we’d need?

George: Yeah Nicky, we picked them up when we docked to pick you up. 

Nicholas: So who needs vaccines?

Sebastian: Everyone who might go down to the planet. So you, Lance. And then Pierre, Esteban, Alex, Daniel. Who else is going? … I can’t find the roster…

George: Roster says Meriana, Silvano, and Charlie. 

Lance: Bags not dealing with Charlie!

George: Bags not working with Charlie!

Nicholas: I guess… I get Charlie, then?

Sebastian: She’s a sweet girl but she does hate needles. Though if you can deal with Esteban, Lance, you should be able to deal with her.

Lance: The difference is I can sit on Esteban.

..

Anyone with eyes can see that Esteban watches Pierre like a hawk. Anyone who is remotely observant (and they’re all Starfleet graduates, they wouldn’t have made it here if they weren’t observant) can tell that _something_ is brewing. 

Esteban walks into the mess hall, notices Pierre, uses the replicator closest to Pierre (even when there are several others closer to Esteban), and takes his meal into a different mess hall. 

Esteban takes the long way from his quarters to the engineering floor - passing by the botany lab at the start of every shift. 

Esteban always manages to find his way toward any conversation remotely related to Pierre and he’ll stand there, silent and watchful, until someone says something positive about Pierre. Then, Esteban will… He’s never refuted the positive statements, he just… redirects them. 

Someone will comment that Pierre keeps his lab so tidy, and Esteban will mention that Daniel keeps the engineering bay in great condition. 

Someone will bring up Pierre’s new haircut and Esteban will say he’s been meaning to get one of his own. 

Once, someone made a comment about the French Academy, and Esteban was quick to point out that himself and Romain and ‘at least seven others’ graduated from the same Academy, also. 

It’s not as if Pierre is any different. 

The botany crew have a rule to keep Pierre as far away from ferns as possible because he _will_ start talking about the one time he gave his friend from the Academy a fern but he gave it back. 

They also don’t talk about the French Academy and how it’s punching above its weight, churning out so many qualified graduates, because Pierre’s face will sour and he’ll carry tension in his neck for the rest of the shift. 

When it’s dinner time, everyone watches him watch Esteban ask for seven eggs, a steak, a portion of asparagus, and one single profiterole for dinner and then carry his tray out of the mess hall. They notice his habit of pushing his final egg to the side and only coming to eat it when he’s finished everything else on his plate, always looking at it like he’s confused it’s still there. 

It’s not just those who are around for Gamma shift who notice it. The whole crew is waiting, anticipating _something_ . A blow up, a resolution, no one knows and no one really minds which it is. It has been a very sedate, quite boring mission so far. The _Hermes_ could do with some excitement. 

No one anticipates what ends up happening.

..

> AWAY TEAM ROSTER. USS HERMES.  
>  Planet: Rasanthum.

Officer in charge: Lieutenant-Commander Ricciardo, Daniel  
Science personnel: Ensign Gasly, Pierre; Ensign Albon, Alex; Lieutenant Stroll, Lance; Ensign Barrett, Meriana  
Operations personnel: Ensign Ocon, Esteban; Ensign Diaz, Silvano; Lieutenant Leveille, Charlie

..

“ _This_ is the Away Team that’s announced on short notice?” Esteban is… Lance wouldn’t say he is having a strop, but he is not happy. “I don’t have time to get out of it!”

What he means is that he doesn’t have enough time to be enough of a prick to convince Pierre to drop out of the team. The problem with that plan is that they’re both too stubborn to concede so they’d end up going on the mission together, irked at each other before it even began. 

For all their captain tends to keep to himself, he is remarkably attuned to the interpersonal dynamics of his crew. Hence, leaving the announcement of the Rasanthum Away Team (a mission that would take at least two days) until ten hours before their departure. Just enough time for everyone to get a solid eight hours of sleep. 

Which Esteban _also_ takes as a personal affront. 

“I won’t even be any use! Do they want me to fall asleep in the transporter room? Because I will do it.” 

Lance has no doubt that Esteban, stubborn as a mule who falls asleep so quickly Lance _has_ scanned him for narcolepsy on several occasions, would do it. 

“You don’t actually _need_ to sleep for a full one and a half shifts, Este.” 

Esteban has this habit when he can look at Lance a bit like he’s dog shit on the bottom of his shoe and then, between one blink and the next, flash him a brilliantly sweet smile. “But it makes me…”

“Pleasant?” 

“I am always pleasant. Makes me even _more_.” He fidgets with Lance’s shirt until the seam falls neatly along the middle of his shoulder. “There, all ready.” 

“Why are you so annoyed about the team assignment?” Lance knows why. The reason is short, balding, and rhymes with air. He wants to hear Esteban say it, though. He’s not quite so invested in what happens between him and Pierre, but he would like it if he could talk to both of his friends at the same time without having to censor himself. 

“Leveille and Barrett are going to be there.” 

Is _not_ the answer Lance had expected. 

“Charlie and Meriana? What about them?”

“They’re so in love!” Esteban moans. 

“I think it’s sweet.” 

“You don’t have to watch Charlie pick her up and carry her like a bride through the engineering department.”

Esteban does have a point. 

“ _I_ have to deal with George pining after Nicky.”

“Has he still not told him?!”

Not even Esteban is immune to the special brand of insanity that occurs months into a several year long voyage aboard a starship where some of the only entertainment comes from the betting ring about everyone’s relationships.

..

> AUDIO RECORDING: Transporter Room.

Daniel Ricciardo: All set?

Meriana Barrett: All set.

Alex Albon: Does everyone have their tent?

Daniel: Of course.

Lance Stroll: Do you?

[Silence]

Daniel: Shit. One sec…

Charlie Levielle: How did you get to command level?

Daniel: My charms. 

Pierre Gasly: And we have to deal with this for two days?

Esteban Ocon: Give us strength!

[Silence]

Esteban: Lance, do you have vaccines for this?

Silvano Diaz: For what? Accidentally talking to people you’ve ignored for years?

Daniel: O-kay folks, enough chat. Let’s get this show on the road. Grab your partner. 

Pierre: What.

[Shuffling]

Esteban: Not him.

Alex: You’ve got no choice, mate.

Lance: You have to.

Daniel: Ready to beam down in three, two, one…

Pierre: I cannot fucking believ-

[Interference from transporter]

[Silence]

Transporter Operator: They’re gonna have an awkward two days.

..

Before it became Away Mission Make Pierre and Esteban Speak to Each Other, the Away Mission to Rasanthum was always going to be an interesting one. 

Years ago, before the _Hermes_ was even a bunch of plans on an architect's desk, there had been a research station there. A Constitution Class Starship had received a distress call from scientists at the station and never made it in time. The entire research station - a full seventy-eight souls - had died. 

A few starships had visited Rasanthum in the months immediately following the tragedy - primarily to recover the station personnel and their personal effects. And then, years later, more arrived to try to work out what had happened. 

The last ship to visit had reported signs of unique life forms on the planet, life forms that had not existed prior to the tragedy of the research station. The roof of what had once been the station barracks had collapsed inward and the building filled with water. When the last ship had visited, they’d reported what looked like nests floating past the windows. 

It was a research vessel, but only equipped to deal with geological samples. They’d taken notes, photographs, and left. Everyone in the scientific community agreed: it was an opportunity too good to pass up. Whether it shed light on what happened to the research crew or not, what it would reveal about the interaction of warp-capable societies with uninhabited societies was enough to justify an Away Mission. 

The atmosphere of Rasanthum was perfectly acceptable for humans, the climate was temperate, there were no known predators (other than the nests, there was no sign of any animal life). The vegetation was lush. It was, by all appearances, the perfect planet. 

“Doesn’t matter how pretty it looks guys…” Daniel had reminded them all before they’d beamed down. 

“Complacent people become dead people,” everyone had chorused. 

It was why they’d beamed down in pairs. If something went wrong with one of the transporter nodes, they would be guaranteed to land with at least one other person. Standard procedure among most crews led by a competent captain.

..

Their first day planet-side goes off without a hitch. 

Esteban and Silvano paired off to investigate the remnants of the computers and life support systems in the main building of the research station. Alex had gone off with Daniel for company to scope out the nesting pool, and Pierre had paired up with Meriana to check out the forest behind the station. Charlie and Lance had set up camp for everyone, since unless an emergency occured they were basically unnecessary. 

The life of security and medical personnel: standing around feeling useless until they suddenly had everyone relying on them. 

Just before dusk, everyone convenes in front of the tents, around the firepit Charlie and Lance had set up. 

“Mushrooms for dinner?” Pierre arrives with a collection of mushrooms cradled in his shirt. There are so many he’s had to fold it almost the whole way up to his nipples. 

Daniel wolf-whistles at him then looks guilty, as if he’s just remembered he’s his commanding officer. 

“Where’d you even find those?” Meriana is following closely behind him, covered in dirt and leaves and trailing a vine that had tangled itself around her ankle. “I just found a retractable collection of succulents.”

“What,” Charlie asks her, reclined in front of the fire, looking totally unconcerned to see her fiance looking like she’s been dragged backward through a bush. “Did you fall down a hole?”

“Make it a cliff,” Meri stoops to kiss her forehead and Charlie wrinkles her nose at the dirt but pulls her down to rest on her knee. “I’m in for doing mushrooms. Might be fun.”

“Have you tested them?” Lance is rummaging around in a bag. 

Pierre looks personally offended. “No?”

“They could be poisonous…” Lance has produced a testing kit. He’s about to take it over to Pierre when Esteban’s hand settles on his knee. 

“He knows what he is doing.” 

It’s said softly, and with his back fully turned away from Pierre, but there’s a moment of stunned silence from the whole group. 

“Thank you,” Pierre murmurs, and dumps the mushrooms in front of Daniel, the assigned chef for the evening. 

..

The same thing cannot be said for the following day. 

Overnight, a howling gale arrived and even though they’d set up camp in a sheltered area, they spent most of the night holding their tents down. By morning, they discovered that the wind had ripped a hole in their supply tent and most of their food rations had flown away. 

“I’ll radio for some to be beamed down.” As the commanding officer, Daniel pulled out his communicator. “Away Team to _Hermes_ , come in _Hermes_ .” There was silence. “Away Team to _Hermes_ . Come in _Hermes_.” Still, no response. He tried once more. When all he got in response was dead air once again, he looked to Silvano. “Any ideas?” 

“I think it’s probably just interference from the storm!” They had to yell at each other to be heard over the wind. “We’ll try again in ten minutes.”

Ten minutes later brought the same result. 

Away Teams frequently lost contact with their ship. It wasn’t cause for concern. Esteban and Silvano roped Charlie and Daniel in to rig all their communicators together to boost the output. Alex, Pierre, Lance, and Meriana wandered off to check on how the storm was impacting the forest and any potential life forms inside. 

They soon found out that the storm’s impact wasn’t only limited to planet-to-space comms. They couldn’t communicate with each other. How that came to be revealed was Esteban hitting Pierre at a dead sprint as he was emerging from the forest carrying an armful of foliage. 

“What the fuck.” Pierre spluttered. “Is there a fire?”

“We can’t talk.” Esteban steps back from Pierre. 

“Grow up. We can talk if we have to.”

“No,” Esteban pants, still catching his breath. “Our communication isn’t working.”

Pierre sighs, holds the leaves in his arms closer to his chest. “Our communication hasn’t been good for a long time.”

Esteban curses. He switches to French. “Our communications system is down! It totally broke. We were trying to contact you for hours!” Though Esteban has been speaking English since they were children, had been the one to start teaching Pierre, he sometimes loses his words when he’s stressed. 

Pierre flushes. “Oh.” 

Alex, thank god, appears behind him. “Are you two okay?”

“Is your communicator working?” Pierre asks him. 

“That’s what I was coming to find you for. Meriana thinks the succulents that fell away on her yesterday are sentient. We radioed you but we couldn’t get through.” 

The three of them curse in stereo - two in French and one in English. 

Lost comms with the ship is a normal occurrence, no cause for concern. 

Lost comms between members of an Away Team can be a few steps away from disaster. 

..

> FIRST OFFICER’S LOG: 1

“Lost contact with _Hermes._ Attempted contact three times every ten minutes. No success. Rigged four communicators together to boost signal. No success. Attempted to contact remaining members of Away Team. No success.

“Can only conclude that none of our communication devices are functional. Asked Ensigns Silvano Diaz and Esteban Ocon for their opinion on the cause. Hypothesise adverse atmospheric conditions brought on by sudden storm.”

> FIRST OFFICER’S LOG: 2

“Shit. Excuse the language but shit! I’ve got theories, most of them are about monsters and curses right now if I’m being honest so I’ll leave the explanation to the Science kids when we’ve all had a chance to calm down. The research station exploded. 

“We were taking a break - me and Silvano and Charlie, waiting for Esteban to return. Charlie heard a hissing sound, then popping. Thank god for security personnel because none of the rest of us heard it. If it wasn’t for her we’d all be dead now. She yelled at us to run and we ran and fuck me all our tents are gone. The comms device we built is gone. Burned up in a massive fireball. 

“Nothing to do right now except wait for Esteban to return with Meri, Pierre, and Lance.” 

> FIRST OFFICER’S LOG: 3

“We’ve calmed down now. I had a chance to speak to Esteban and Silvano. They believe that their work in the research station yesterday disturbed what was left of the life support systems. I’m sure their reports will shed more light on the situation but the life support systems when the station was built weren’t quite as long-lasting as the ones we build now. So they got a little shaken up and they just went _bang!_

The best explanation we have for the breakdown of our communicators is still the storm.

Our priority now is finding food and a viable water source, and finding shelter for the night.”

..

Lance is wondering if it’s worth making the trek to the top of a hill in the distance to see if the snow gathered around the peak can be melted into something drinkable, when Charlie and Meriana call out. They’d all split into groups to scout for shelter. 

“We’ve found something!”

They’ve come from the opposite direction of the hill and Lance is _really_ not loving the thought of traipsing between their shelter and the only potential water source he’s found yet. 

“There’s a waterfall a few hundred metres away, too. If Lance can test to make sure it’s drinkable, we’ll be sweet.” 

Lance perks up. He takes Esteban’s arm, dragging him away from the hole he’s digging. What was it about engineering staff? They thought everything was a problem they personally could solve with nothing but elbow grease. Esteban was convinced that he could dig a hole deep enough that he’d magically find water good enough for everyone to drink. 

It’s a short walk to the rocky overhang Charlie and Meriana had found. It’s a few kilometres from the research station where Pierre and Alex had been scouting, and from the forest Daniel and Silvano had gone looking through. It takes them a while to arrive, and by the time they do the rest of them have already constructed a robust fire pit. 

Pierre and Alex arrive back with mushrooms and the stalks of some plant that Pierre says tastes basically like cabbage. It’s more than enough to feed them all for dinner. 

Meriana sits herself with Pierre and Alex to eat, picking through her plate with a steady-eyed dedication. She watches Charlie, sitting at the other side of the camp with the others, with a small smile. 

“I know I shouldn’t say this, but it’s kinda romantic isn’t it?” Meriana muses. “Like, if we were in different circumstances…” 

Charlie slings an arm around Esteban, presses a brisk kiss to his cheek, and leers across the fire at her fiance. Lance watches Pierre’s face shutter closed, watches him turn to study what’s left of his mushrooms. “It’s fucking freezing so we’ve all got no choice but the cuddle tonight. _So_ romantic.”

Daniel looks up from boiling the water Lance had deemed drinkable. “I think that was a joke from you, Leveille, but I’m making it an order. We’re already pushing subzero conditions. Everyone is partnering up.” 

Lance can already tell, from the look Charlie exchanges with Silvano, and the long-suffering sigh that Meriana lets out, that partnering up is not going to be a simple survival strategy. 

..

> CONVERSATIONS OVERHEARD BY THE MOON.

Charlie: Meri you sleep next to the fire, baby. You’re like a furnace already. I’ll be fine.  
Meriana: You just want me to rub your tummy while you sleep. I see through you.  
Charlie: Mmn but you love me. 

Silvano: I didn’t know you had it in you, sir.  
Daniel: What?  
Silvano: To sleep with a subordinate.  
Daniel: You’re so full of shit.  
Silvano: If you snore in my ear I’m kicking you in the balls.

Lance: Este, you’re too tall. You go on the outside.  
Esteban: That’s fine. I get the fire.

Alex: This is nice.  
Pierre: Pretending I’m your girlfriend?  
Alex: It’s been ages since I’ve had a good cuddle. 

Esteban: Some of us are trying to sleep. 

Meriana: [indecipherable sleep-talking]  
Charlie: Is that right?  
Meriana: I have ten. 

Lance: ‘Este, you sleep on the outside,’ I said. Abandoned as soon as my back was turned.  
Silvano: Just get in front of me, mate.  
Lance: Thanks. 

Alex: I wish I had a camera.  
Meriana: There’s black-mail material here for life.  
Daniel: Aw, look how he’s got his face tucked in Pierre’s neck.  
Alex: I’ve never seen either of them look this relaxed, ever.  
Lance: Shhh, let them sleep. 

.. 

Daniel watches Pierre wake up first. He’s the only one facing the firepit so he’s the only one who notices the way Pierre presses back into Esteban’s chest before realising where he is and who he’s with and pulling away with a scowl. 

Esteban comes to a few minutes later, closing his arms around empty air and sitting up looking bereft and confused. 

Daniel is forcibly reminded of the first night he’d spent with his boyfriend - pulling out of the warmth of his arms, scared the night before had been a fever dream. Except these two didn’t have A Night Before. 

Daniel always misses him, but right now, watching Pierre and Esteban watch each other from the corners of their eyes, it’s almost unbearable. 

.. 

It’s four hours before the _Hermes_ should have been picking them up. Obviously that isn’t going to happen. 

Daniel sends them out foraging, once again in groups. Through some trick of grouping everyone by their specialities and their personal skills, Pierre and Esteban end up paired together. 

They walk most of the way in silence. 

After the fifth time Esteban sighs, Pierre stops walking. “I know you hate me, but we’ve got to get this done.”

Esteban pales. Opens and closes his mouth several times. Stares at a patch of dead air over Pierre’s shoulder. “I don’t hate you.” He looks physically ill. “I actually like you.” 

Perhaps it’s the shock on Esteban’s face, or the stress of being marooned on a strange planet, but something startles Pierre’s own confession out of him. 

“I like you, too. You know that.”

“I used to.”

What are either of them supposed to say, after that? Esteban’s eyes are so wide. Expressive. It stings to look at him. 

They walk on, a few paces apart, Esteban leading now, just like old times. 

Eventually, the silence grows too much for Pierre. “Shit,” he doesn’t wait for Esteban to turn to look at him. He doesn’t let himself think about what he’s saying. “Where did we go wrong?”

Esteban halts. Shakes his head. Asks the expanse of empty land in front of them, “Do you think if we hadn’t gone to the Academy we’d still be friends?”

And isn’t that the eternal question of people who’ve fallen apart. A myriad of ‘what ifs’ built up between them, overlapping and growing darker and darker and obscuring everything except the hypotheticals. Until they can’t see each other as anything other than negative space, opportunities missed, and lives unlived.

“Mhm.” Pierre swipes his hands over his face.

They’re both crying and pretending that they aren’t, by now. 

“I missed you so much when you left.” Esteban’s voice is rough. 

“Did you?” He almost doesn’t want to ask. Doesn’t want to hear Esteban say, ‘no I was just saying that to be polite.’

Instead:

“Of course I did. Pierre. You were my best friend.” 

“Yeah. I was…” 

Both of them talking in the past tense, as if there isn’t a space in each of them that is still a five year old boy, looking up at the stars, lying shoulder to shoulder with his best friend and making pinky promises to be friends forever. 

..

> CONVERSATIONS OVERHEAD BY THE MOON.

Pierre: You didn’t eat much.  
Esteban: I’m fine.  
Pierre: You could have asked for mo-  
Esteban: I’m _fine._

Meriana: So, Mr. Sour Pants and Mr. Sad Eyes are looking happier.  
Silvano: I saw Pierre laugh at Esteban’s joke, before.  
Daniel: It was a really bad joke. 

Alex: You good, mate?  
Pierre: I am, thank you. Are you?  
Alex: I never miss date night with Lily…  
Pierre: Ach, it will be fine. George will have told her. And she wouldn’t stay mad at you, anyway. If you love a person, you find a way.  
Alex: You do, don’t you?

Esteban: I can feel it changing.  
Lance: Yeah, me too. I’m happy for you.  
Esteban: What?  
Lance: I’m happy for you.  
Esteban: No. The weather. I can feel the weather changing. 

Pierre: Aren’t you cold?  
Esteban: No. Are you? Come here.  
Pierre: Thanks. Night.  
Esteban: Good night.

..

Meriana wakes up, sprawled on her back in the dirt, a few inches away from Charlie. Esteban had been right - the weather was changing. Overnight, the frigid air blown right from the snowy mountains was gone, replaced by a stifling humid heat. She’d pushed Charlie off herself at some point in the night, and she’s still snoring - dead to the world and flat on her face. 

Meriana sits up and is immediately mesmerised by the sight in front of her. Alex and Lance have woken, spaced themselves out, and are equally as transfixed. 

Esteban is curled around Pierre’s back, bracketing his entire body with his own. No part of Pierre - neither his head nor his feet - extend beyond the round bracket of Esteban. Pierre has both of Esteban’s hands clutched in his own and tucked up under his chin, looking for all the world like a small child holding a stuffed toy. 

It is the sweetest thing she’s seen in a very long time. 

“It’s going to happen, isn’t it?” She keeps her voice pitched low, caring less about the wrath of her fiance if she wakes up, and more about preserving the sight in front of them. 

Lance nods, eyes wide and wondering. “I though we might get them on speaking terms again. I didn’t think we’d get… this.” 

The three of them watch in silence, as the pair sleep on, breaths perfectly matched, a red sun skimming a blue ocean. 

Daniel and Silvano come awake at exactly the same time, snorting and reeling back from each other like they’ve been hit. It looks like they’ve been hit which, knowing how violently both of them sleep, is highly probable. 

Their noise wakes Esteban and Pierre. Everyone tenses. Everyone except Charlie who had famously slept through a red alert while the ship unsuccessfully navigated an asteroid belt. Despite the progress the two of them have clearly made, everyone expects them to spring apart and ignore each other for the rest of the day. 

Instead, Pierre gives Esteban a small, embarrassed smile over his shoulder and says, very calmly, “I’m going to get breakfast. Lattes for everyone?” 

..

Alex hears a noise, coming from the abandoned research station. 

More specifically, coming from the pool in the old barracks. 

He’d noticed the nests on the first day but given the chaos that followed, hadn’t had a chance to follow up. He decides, since it’s now overwhelmingly warm instead of unbearably cold, that he should be a good xenozoologist, and investigate. 

Lance, Silvano, and Charlie accompany him. 

Given how absolutely, unequivocally shit the mission has been so far, none of them expect to find anything positive awaiting them. 

Alex can see through the windows that all the nests have gone. Or… not quite gone. They’ve been ripped apart. Shreds of straw and insulation and rubber hosing float past the windows, drifting in several different directions, all hauntingly disobeying the current. 

There’s what looks like blood, in the water, too. 

The same noise Alex had heard before, only this time much, _much_ louder comes from somewhere behind the pool. He sees Charlie’s hand rest over her phaser. His instinct will always be to protect whatever life-form he finds, at the expense of his own life. But Charlie is trained to account for that instinct. 

Lance is there in case Charlie’s training doesn’t help enough. Silvano is… well, he’s extra phaser power. 

It doesn’t mean that Alex isn’t one unexpected noise away from soiling his pants, though. He may love and respect the alien animals he studies, but some of them are still really bloody terrifying. 

_Rustle._

And then a squeak, like a nail down a chalkboard. Or like a nail over glass. 

_Rustle_. 

If Alex survives this, he hopes whatever creature it is is a great help to science. He hopes it’s a fascinating insight into the life cycle of Rasanthum.

He tells everyone to keep their eyes down and not to make any sudden movements. More often than not, unknown animals that evolved near abandoned Starfleet bases (it happens surprisingly often) have a real thing against eye contact. 

“Alex,” Lance breathes, and Alex panics that something has already got at his vocal cords. “Alex, look.” 

Alex looks. 

And then he cries. 

..

> PERSONAL LOG, ALEX ALBON. 1

“I won’t presume to name the animal that we discovered today. If Lewis and the scientific community want to do me that honour, I’ll have to think of something cute, to match the bird. They’re _birds_! 

“Lance alerted me that one of them had walked around the outside of the barracks and was approaching us. When I saw it for the first time I thought it was a large Dodo. A _Dodo._ It was certainly the right shape, it’s beak and it’s head and most of the body. But its legs were far too long. I hope to come back to take photos. They are very dull birds, in terms of plumage, I mean. I’m sure they’re very intelligent. A lot of grey and brown, but I believe the males have a chin strap of brilliant green. 

“They are an amphibious bird, capable of surviving in both air and water. Once we met the first individual, several more appeared both outside the old barracks and inside the barrack pool. They looked like seals, playing around in there. I swear they were smiling at me. Us. They are very social creatures. The notice of caution, if anything, should say, like ‘beware: will demand chin rubs.’

“Lance went to take some life-sign readings from them and discovered that absolutely all of our equipment is working again! Even our communicators. I radioed Daniel right away, to let him know. Lance did his thing and Charlie, Silvano and I got in the pool to fish out some egg shells. I’ll need to do more tests once we get back on the ship, but I believe that there is some chemical in the shell, the mucous membrane, and the blood of the birds that was disrupting our technology. 

“My hypothesis is that a similar hatching event took place that took down the Rasanthum research station’s life support systems, and their communicators, resulting in the death of the crew. Now that the birds have hatched, the interference has completely gone. ”

..

“I am so glad to be able to sleep in my own bed,” Pierre groans, stamping out the last of the embers in the fire pit. Beside him, Esteban tenses. 

“Yes. Alone.” 

They’re about to beam back to the ship. Everyone else has already gone. They’d decided it was safest to take them one group at a time, just in case the atmosphere wasn’t quite stable enough to get all eight of them back to the _Hermes_ at once. 

“That’s not what I meant,” Pierre assures. “I didn’t mean…”

“Will we still talk?”

“That’s up to you. You’re the one with the history of ignoring me.”

Esteban looks like he’s about to say something, but then their radios crackle with their five second warning, and they take each other’s elbows. Beaming is a funny feeling - kind of like when you drive really fast over a hump in the road and lose your stomach. Also, kind of like when the boy you like holds your arm. 

Pierre is reluctant to let go of Esteban, when they arrive in the transporter room. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but he notices Esteban’s fingers take a long time to leave his arm, too. 

..

> LOCATION: CREW QUARTERS (PIERRE GASLY)  
>  TIME: 0127 ship’s time // 1627 planet time  
>  TIME ELAPSED SINCE RECOVERY FROM RASANTHUM: 3 hours

[knock, timid]

[a few minutes elapse]

Pierre: Oh, it’s you. Hello. 

Esteban: Did I wake you?

Pierre: It’s fine. 

Esteban: I said I liked you.

Pierre: Yes?

Esteban: I meant it.

Pierre: I meant it, too. 

[pause]

[shuffling of feet on carpet]

Esteban: I think of you every time I see ferns. 

Pierre: Then why did you give it back?

Esteban: You loved it so much. I didn’t want you to miss it.

[silence]

Pierre: Why didn’t you speak to me?

Esteban: I was angry. That you applied and then turned down the command track. Without telling me.

Pierre: I never applied.

Esteban: What?

[cough, nervous]

Pierre: They offered it to me. I didn’t want it, not even from the beginning. I waited before turning it down to be polite.

Esteban: Did Charles know that?

Pierre: Esteba- Este. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to upset you. I know how much you wanted to do command track. I was scared. That you’d stop speaking to me. Look how that worked out.

Esteban: I thought you didn’t trust me. That you didn’t care how much I wanted it.

Pierre: I cared about you so much. I care about you so much.

Esteban: Oh. 

[silence]

Esteban: Can I come in?

[Pierre steps aside]

[door closes] 

Esteban: Your quarters are lovely. You are lovely.

.. 

Pierre’s quarters are a mirror of the botany lab, in miniature. There are plants everywhere. It smells fresh, and fragrant, and comforting. And like the laundry powder Pierre has used since they were kids. 

“You are lovely.” Esteban looks like it hurts him to say it, to look around the space Pierre lives, the space that’s a mystery to him, where he doesn’t yet belong. 

Just like that, he cannot stop himself. 

Pierre pushes up on his toes to kiss him. 

Their faces are slightly scratchy from going days without shaving. Their lips are chapped. Their mouths are both minty from the luxury of brushing their teeth for the first time in days. Esteban’s breathing is short and shocked against Pierre’s chin. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for ages.” He says it against Esteban’s lips. 

“I know.” 

_I know_. A simple rejection. So very Esteban. 

Pierre pulls away. 

Esteban clutches after his waist. 

“Don’t,” he pleads. “Stop. I know because I’ve wanted to do it, too.”

..

> OUTGOING CALL TO: Lily Muni

Alex: Pierre and Esteban have made up.

Lily: Hello to you, too. You’ve only been stranded on a planet for three nights. No biggie. 

Alex: Shit. Sorry. Hey, babe. How are you?

Lily: Glad to hear your stupid voice. So go on, tell me about Pierre and Esteban. 

Alex: I went to shower and I could hear them giggling, through the wall. 

Lily: How do you know it was them?

Alex: Have you heard Esteban’s laugh? It’s very distinctive. Also French. And I hope it’s Esteban in there, not Romain!

..

> OUTGOING CALL TO: George Russell

Alex: You were right?

George: Huh? I’m always right.

Alex: Are you okay, mate? You sound frazzled.

George: Hm? Oh, yeah I’m fine! What was I right about. 

Alex: About Pierre and Esteban. They’ve made up. 

George: Oh, good… Great stuff, mega news. Listen, uh, can we talk about this in the morning? I’m kinda… making up, too.

Alex: _I was gone for three days George!_

Nicky: And we missed you terribly, mate. Talk to you tomorrow. 

..

> INCOMING CALL FROM: Lance Stroll

Lance: So! I have news!

Alex: I was just about to call you to say the same thing!

Lance: You go first.

Alex: Esteban is in Pierre’s room right now. 

Lance: Wow. It took them long enough, thank fuck. I’ve got so many in-jokes about people we three went to school with that none of the rest of you will understand. 

Alex: I think they have jokes, too. They’re giggling. 

Lance: _Giggling_? You know what this means, right? George and Lando were right. They’re going to be sleeping together. 

Alex: Can I ask for a room transfer?

Lance: I’m sure Este will be more than happy to swap with you. Shared bathroom… who could turn that down. 

Alex: Ughh. What’s your news?

Lance: Oh! Found out who Daniel had a date with! He’s back on Earth. He’s a physio, I think. Personal trainer.

Alex: Do you have his name? I’ll look him up.

Lance: Michael. Italiano, or something.

Alex: Oh, holy shit.

Lance: What is it? Is he cute?

Alex: Yeah, but that’s not it. Lily works with him. 

Lance: What the fuck? Why do you have no acquaintances you can set me up with?? 

Alex: Do you want me to ask around the ship to see if Hulk is looking for a relationship?

Lance: Get fucked, Alex.

Alex: My girlfriend is millions of miles away. Nico is just on deck five. You’ve got more hope of that than me.

..

######  **~ Operation Nemesis ~**

**Lando: SOS** **  
** **Lando: No, really SOS** **  
** **Lando: RED ALERT** **  
** **Lando: does no one listen to me?** **  
** **Lando: Esteban got into the group chat**

 **George: chill out mate** **  
** **George: I thought u liked him**

 **Lando: but we said SO MUCH about him** **  
** **Lando: and pierre’s still in it**

**Lance: … yesssssss??**

**Lando: since when is pierre speaking to esteban?**

..

######  **~ Best of the Science Div (Plus Lando and Esteban) ~**

**Lando: WHEN WERE ANY OF YOU GOING TO TELL ME PIEREESTABAN AREFUCKING??**

**Pierre: If i’d known you were so invested i would have told you weeks ago**

**Lando: WEEKS?** **  
** **Lando: Is there anything else I need to know???**

**George: Nicholas is my boyfriend**

**Alex: we all know that, George. The two of you are insufferable**

**Esteban: pear how often do i water this fern?**

**Pierre: never you’re off fern watering duty i will do it for you.** **  
** **Pierre: every second day**

.. 

> SYMBOLISM: Fern
> 
> The shape of the immature fern represents perpetual movement and a return to the point of origin. 
> 
> The fern therefore symbolises the way life changes and stays the same. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Liv for letting me borrow Silvano


End file.
